Darlin'
by Sgt.Pepperony
Summary: Three moments where Alec Hardy speaks to his little girl in hospital. [Part 3 of New Memories, New Life] *Complete*
1. Present Day

Title: Darlin  
Fandom: Broadchurch  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

* * *

It's a moment of silence in the hospital room, save the sound of the heart monitor. It's both spooky and reassuring. The last time Daisy was attached to a heart monitor, she was four and had her tonsils removed. She looked tiny and frail, and Alec hated it. Worse was the day she was born where at eight weeks premature, she looked to have a dozen or so wires and tubes attached. Sixteen years later and he still has that feeling of dread. His little girl was looking completely battered from a fall. There had been numerous tests on her, checking her blood alcohol level, liver function, brain function and her spinal cord. Each one made him sick. All this because Tess had an affair and Daisy had been hiding the fact she knew for years.

Alec wanted to tell his daughter that he understood what it felt like to know that a parent had an affair. He was ten when he was introduced to Brenda Carter but at the time he didn't think much of the closeness between his father and Brenda. It wasn't until he was thirteen that he worked it out: his father was having an affair. It's the thing that shattered his faith in his family. He doesn't tell his mother though she eventually finds out. It actually kills her as a result. Her heart just gave out and it later turned out to be a hereditary thing: his grandfather had it, his great-grandmother had it and now he had it. His heart was shattered when he discovered Tess's second deceit. It nearly kills him but his heart has slowly healed. He had every intention to tell her that he got how she felt the night the fall happened. He wanted to sit and talk to her but she had other ideas. As if he wasn't stressed enough.

"You know Darlin', when you were born, I, in spite of the exhaustion and worry I had over your mum, came to see you in the NICU. You were tiny. Unbelievably tiny. The first time I got to hold you, you could fit perfectly in my hands. And I was scared that I was going to lose you, because you genuinely are the best thing that ever happened to me. I maybe should have been honest with you about your mum, but I guess part of it was so you didn't feel the resentment that I had to my dad towards your mum.

I hate my dad, mostly because you're gran died not long after she found out. Broken heart. I hate that he caused that much stress on her that she suffered a heart attack. And yeah, your mother did the same but resentment isn't a good feeling. I've been on the receiving end of it and I probably sound like a hypocrite by saying this but at the end of the day, she's still your mum Daisy and she never meant to hurt you in the process. I was a terrible husband near the end. Just don't forget that we both love you so much. Please, Darlin', just wake up."

Fighting back the tears, he felt a squeeze on his hand. There is the flutter of eye lashes and a small groan, "Dad?"

"Daisy?" he asked stupidly but after hours of uncertainty and lack of sleep he could be forgiven. "Darlin' your in the hospital."

"You need a shave," she whispered and Alec let out a laugh and kissed her hand. At least that part of his little girl was in tact.


	2. 12 Years Previously

"It's only a simple surgery. It's only a simple surgery," Alec thought as he paced the floor of the waiting room. Daisy's tonsils had become a problem and she was struggling to eat. He had to admire how brave his four year old was in comparison to her parents. In their defence, however, the last time she was in hospital was as a premature newborn so Daisy and hospitals were not a great connection.

It had been a good forty-five minutes since they wheeled her off and all that could be done is wait. Alec had been a bit more productive by means of getting Daisy a stuffed duck. He doesn't know why but he saw it and thought Daisy could do with a treat after all that. Tess was stuck at work and hating that she could not be there for her daughter. He promised to call with any news once he received it.

"Sir?" the nurse walked up to him. "She's in recovery. The doctors want to keep her overnight but it went well. She's been asking for you." He followed her to the children's ward where Daisy was tucked up sleepily underneath the blankets. The anaesthetic hadn't quite worn off. "She might have a sore throat so try not to let her speak too much."

Alec nodded and sat by the bed, "Hey Darlin'. Daddy has something for you." He pulled out the stuffed duck and lay it gently beside Daisy. She smiled but not the bright ones she usually gave but a tired one. "You were very brave. Braver than I was."

"Throat hurts," she croaked.

"I know." He strokes her hair a little and wonders if she just wants to go back to sleep again. She's very disoriented and Alec wonders whether he could get some of the stuff they gave her for bedtime at home. She's a whirlwind most of the time. He looks to the nurse, asking if she's okay for a cuddle and the nurse nods. Daisy, at four, is not the lightest but not exactly heavy either so it's only a case of gathering her up in her blanket, with her stuffed duck, and sitting her on his lap. "You know when you were a baby, you only fell asleep if someone was holding you?"

He feels her nod against his chest. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head and her little hand held onto his index finger. Daisy is fast asleep soon and Alec's somewhat soothed by the pace she's breathing. Given the trauma she went through to arrive into this world, he always has to check she's breathing since the day they brought her home. Four years down the line, he still does it, mostly in fear he'll lose the most precious thing in the world to him. He's a better dad than he gives himself credit for. Certainly better than his father was. Given what had happened in the last year, Daisy was his guiding light that kept him happy and functioning and he was not going to let her go this easily just yet.

He knows there's a point, maybe when she starts secondary school, that she might start to pull away from him. She'll want to spend more time with her friends, wear makeup, swear, defy the standards of uniform set by school and - he gulped at this thought - start dating.

For now he can settle for his little girl who reenacts Pop Idol with her stuffed animals (why Tess let's her watch it he will never know), refused to wear normal clothes to nursery (there was no way in hell he'd let her go out in her Ariel costume) and sing the wrong lyrics to the radio in the car rather badly (he doesn't have the heart to correct her). He's going to savour these moments all he can. Even this moment right there right now.


	3. 16 Years Previously

He's a young Detective Sergeant and he should have more composure than this. The sensory overload that came with the stress had caused Alec to throw up in the visitors bathroom. This is worse than when his first murder case, even though neither Tess or his baby were dead. Yet. He should have not let her go to work in a huff this morning. She would not have clipped the back of someone's car, crushing her stomach in the process.

Internal bleeding and tearing. It could go either way. It's an hour after he arrives that he gets any news. Tess is still in surgery. The baby - a girl - is in the NICU.

"She very nearly died. She wasn't breathing, pulse was low and is only just under three pounds. We had to resuscitate."

He's almost sick again but holds it in. His little girl needed him more. He followed the nurse to the NICU, and his heart shattered when the neonatal doctor led him to the incubator holding his daughter. The tiny baby had a slight yellow tone in her skin, a ventilator covering her mouth and Alec's heart shattered because he had not imagined having a really sick baby on his hands while his wife was also in a life or death situation. The next day is a blur. Tess is in recovery but too weak and drugged up to understand the situation. He's back in the NICU later to see his daughter. She's still stable which is probably a good sign but stable could go either way.

He can touch her and he does, albeit nervously, by stroking the slight bit of brown hair on top of her head. She doesn't seem to react until she scrunched her face before opening her eyes. Little blue eyes, like his mother's.

For the first time in almost thirty-six hours, he smiled, "Hey there. I'm your dad. Mum is just resting right now. I know it hurts Darlin' but I think your mum would like to meet you. I wonder if you can recognise my voice. I did talk a bit while you were in your mum's stomach. Probably would be the shouting more than anything. I might stop that because you shouldn't live with it. We almost have a room for you at home. I haven't quite finished it yet, but it has rabbits, squirrels and birds on the wallpaper. I did it for you and I would do anything for you okay. Just remember that because you are my little girl and I won't let anything happen to you. I mean it. You just have to fight and not give up because I am not giving up on you."

He stroked her head a while longer, when the nurse came over with a form, "Sorry sir. It's just that we didn't get chance for her to be registered."

"Oh um..." He takes the form and while he writes his and Tess's name, the baby's name he really had to think about. On the one hand, he wanted the name Lauren. Tess wanted Daisy after her grandmother, Daisy. The only agreement was over the middle name, Ann. Honestly, the little girl in the incubator deserved better than arguments over a silly thing like a name. So he settled. Daisy Ann Hardy. "There we go Darlin'. You just get better for me eh."


End file.
